Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Of Mice and Men '08

This is a response the post on Hobson's Buffet about Randy Newman's Faust. The question was: If given the chance which classic story would you retell and with which outrageous cast?

Of Mice and Men 'O8
Matt Damon as Lenny
Bill Murray as George
Will Smith as Crooks
Peter O'Toole as Candy
Miley Cyrus as Candy's papergirl
Samuel L. Jackson as Carlson
Janeane Garofalo as Curly
Amanda Peet as Curly's life partner
Adrien Brody as Slim

In this modern retelling of Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men" the story is retold through a dark situational comedy involving people of questionable professions and morality who all share rooms in a large old house in San Fransisco. Lenny and George are two dockworkers who move to San Fransisco after losing their jobs on the Sacramento side of the Bay due to George's manic-depressive disorder. They move into a house, owned by lesbian rights activist Curly and her bi-sexual life partner, a librarian. The rooms in the house are rented out to various blue collar workers who are all at odds with law enforcement in different ways. There is Crooks, a former actor, who now acts like a hunchbacked homeless man everyday to make his "wages". There is Candy, a illegal British immigrant who moved to Haight/Ashbury during the sixties and is now a street musician. There is Carlson, a bouncer at a night club with gang connections. And there is Slim spin master and Public Relations Practitioner trying to open his own firm after returning from the Peace Corp.

Dark enough?
Now imagine that all dialoge is yodeled in German and the entire movie is subtitled. Also imagine that instead of Carlson shooting Candy's dog (as in the original), Carlson shoots the papergirl who also smuggles Candy his LSD everyday (Played by Miley Cyrus. Yes, I just killed Hannah Montana.) Imagine that Janeane Garofalo is stereotyped as a lesbian for the rest of her career (nothing new is under the sun). Overall I think this has the potential to be a hilarious remake and that is should be picked up by a film maker, pronto. To the guys at Hobson's Buffet, thanks for letting me play around with your posts. To anyone who read this. Really? You should have stopped a long time ago.

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