Educated Guesses

Why Armstrong Hall has the fire alarm go off sooooo many times:

-It's highly flammable
-Men can't cook
-Man funk smells like smoke
-Poltergeist
-That's not the fire alarm that's the doorbell
-Everytime a smoke detector beeps an angel gets its wings
-Arson
-Fire alarms sensitive to fire ants
-Bison Days students are ridiculous and shouldn't be allowed to come to Harding
-The fire department thinks seeing at least one student mostly naked (without fail) is funny
-Our fire alarms are intercepting intergalactic messages
-Mrs. Lemmons' death stare can burn through souls

PB '11