So over the last few months Harding Humor has not been posting that actively. And the material posted has been moderate at best. Perhaps deserving of a chuckle or two, but no guffaws. This is all true. However, in our defense, here is some of the material we rejected over the past months as well. Quality or quantity? Take your pick.
And the losers are:
If life were Captain Planet, you'd be the Power of Heart.
Although not recognized by the public, many words are actually onomatopoeias. Examples: Dropkick (if you stutter, this has the effect of a running dropkick as opposed to a standing dropkick), Scratch, Poop, Slap, Cleave, Whisper, and Snort.
If Doctor Burks and The Pope had an "altercation" it would probably be a lot like when Yoda fought the Emperor in Star Wars Ep. III: Revenge of the Sith only our lightning would be holier than theirs.
Illegal immigration and social security can each be solved by simply shipping off all of our old people to Mexico and giving the immigrants the old people's social security numbers.
Every time we touch I feel the static, but that's the price you pay for dating a Van De Graaff
generator.
If I could retell any classic novel, I would write "The Scarlet Hood Ornament" about Optimus Prynne committing adultery with Roger Chillingsworth resulting in exile and shame from the conservative Autobot community.
Contrary to a popular campus rumor, Torrence "Tank" Daniels did NOT put the "Tank" in "Thomas the Tank Engine".
Who has more movie cameo appearances Alfred Hitchcock or the Statue of Liberty? I don't know ask Kevin Bacon, he's the one that's "degreed" with everyone.
Silly rabbit! Crack cocaine is illegal!
PB '11
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