Throughout the years there have been many different genres of music that I have listened to avidly. None implicitly better than the others, merely different. Despite all the musical, stylistic, and cultural diversity, all genres have one thing in common. Yes, be it hip-hop, country, techno, bluegrass, or jazz every genre has at the very least one song that is just TERRIBLE. One song that makes your stomach churn and brings headaches while simultaneously generating enough hate to fuel a small storm of Dark Side Electricity (yes I just referenced Star Wars, but that's an entirely different rant). Some of these songs have even the audacity to lodge themselves somewhere in your subconscious and hide within the folds of your memory, an ostentatious soundtrack to the rest of your sub-par, tired day. You start to taste bile in the back of your throat only to realize you have been subtly singing the very song you despise, spreading the disease to those around you. Sometimes these songs forgo the subtlety of infiltration and in brazen effrontery come from every speaker in your vicinity. These songs have gone on with a certain timelessness that allows them to infect many generations beyond their targets of origin. These songs are your nemeses. They are the enemies of your sanity, undermining the greater efforts of humanity from the moment of their conception. Everyone has certain songs that elicit these emotions, and these are your nemesis songs. You are cringing right now at the very thought of these songs, trying not to actually think of them for fear that they will torment you again. It is this very reaction that is allowing the nemesis song to exist. It is time that society takes a stand against these songs. That is why I'm proposing that we attempt to compile a list of everyone's nemesis songs so that we can combat them. Until we know which songs are the worst offenders we cannot know how stiff to make the punishment. So please join the battle against nemesis songs and stick it to these travesties of sound. If you are so compelled post your nemesis songs below so that Harding Humor can lead the battle with an exhaustive list of all the world's nemesis songs. Don't give up hope! Remember, as long as karma can find its way back to MC Hammer than there is hope for the musical world.
Sir Knight Patrick Baird, Esquire