In the meanwhile here are some facts related to our beloved Christopher Columbus, delivered in tried and true HH formats (mainly lists):
Columbus's real name was Bob Hope and he struck his fame and fortune while attempting to film his first special, "Undiscovered Route to India".
Like any good sailor Columbus had several tattoos. They are as follows:
- A tattoo of Queen Isabella purging her dinner, the blackmail that got him his funding as well as the inspiration for the band Thin Lizzy's name.
- A map of the Vatican. Knowing he was directionally challenged but deeply religious, he got this tattoo to ensure he never stumbled into the Pope's personal chamberpot emporium.
- The face of his beloved kitty cat Nostrada-puss who spoke to Columbus regularly and dictated his day-to-day activities telepathically.
- "Thug Life" across his diaphragm.
The Knights of Columbus where originally a group of venture capitalists out to corner the aglet market, but as they were all devout Catholics they couldn't keep the monopoly together. They attempted to venture into unknown realms taking their name after the explorer who ventured into the unknown, However like their namesake they became lost and confused in the process and ended up becoming a Catholic fraternal service order.