Thursday, November 1, 2007

Dinosaur of the Week

Peptrodon: The Peptrodon is a modern dinosaur that can be found across the world in varying degrees. The main trait of the peptrodon is its unfailing joyfulness and excitement, and its desire to spread these feelings with all others. The Peptrodon is easily recognized by its means of transportation, the skip. Even when standing in place the peptrodon hops up and down in place, barely able to contain itself. The peptrodon is a master of body language, which is evolutions way of balancing their lack of a large vocabulary. Often times a peptrodon will approach you and enthusiastically ask "How's it Goin?!?" or "Wassup?!?", sometimes the female persuasion of peptrodon will use the greeting, "Gooood Morning!!" This is true even if the peptrodon has already seen you five minutes ago or just finished speak to a group you were included in. The peptrodon is always concerned for your well being and will attempt to brighten your day with countless unfunny stories that often have no conclusion or purpose. These stories are often followed by a giggle or a ditsy "Isn't that hilarious?" Another way evolution has adapted the peptrodon is their innate sense of others feelings. This has always been an instinct of the Peptrodon, as its primary goal is not to survive or to mate, but to make others happy also. However, the more successful peptrodons have learned to avoid others that have violent tendencies when they are in a bad mood. The peptrodon can often be seen wearing bright colors, rainbows, WWJD bracelets, unicorns, Christian slogan tees, and brightly colored braces/headgear. The peptrodon is quick to give hugs and invade personal space boundries. The peptrodon will laugh at any joke, intended or not. It is also quick to tell its own jokes, which are often cheesy, old, or just out right not funny. This does not discourage the peptrodon. The peptrodon also loves listening to music that was popular once, but never again such as N*Sync, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, The B-52s, Ally and AJ, Will Smith, Rascal Flatts, and the ever popular Michael Jackson. The peptrodon will often want to quote, sing from, or talk about their favorite cult classic movies such as The Princess Bride, The Breakfast Club, Clueless, Casablanca, Simon Birch, Shazaam, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin, and their all time favorite, High School Musical. If you run across a peptrodon, try to remain as neutral as possible. If you act happy it will assume it has found a friend and ally. If you act unhappy it will feel obliged to cheer you up. Often times a more tame peptrodon can be a good friend to have at a distance. The tame peptrodon is always willing to do any favor and is never downhearted no matter how much you tease it. All in all, each peptrodon encounter must to some extent judged on its own, as different peptrodons feel different levels of inspiration towards others. Good luck as you encounter different peptrodons around campus this week.

PB '11

2 comments:

Lisa said...

Patrick Baird you SO crack me up! Always have and probably always will.

I'm just glad you're finally getting it in writing. :-)

Keep it up! Love you bunches!

Becca said...

"The peptrodon can often be seen wearing bright colors, rainbows, WWJD bracelets, unicorns, Christian slogan tees, and brightly colored braces/headgear."

HAHAHA. That's great!

The Princess Bride--love it
The Breakfast Club--never seen it
Clueless--saw it when I was younger, wanting to see it again
Casablanca--never seen it
Simon Birch-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Shazaam--OH, HAI THERE LONG FORGOTTEN!!
The Little Mermaid--own the Platinum Edition!
The Lion King--makes me cry every time
Aladdin--I can recite the whole thing
High School Musical--um, hello! I have HSM socks! Obsessed much, yes?