Sunday, November 11, 2007

Mental Health Report by Dr. Mel Arthur

Recently psychologists have made a startling discovery concerning how the average American approaches relationships. Top researchers contend that most Americans are so consumed by their favorite television shows that they adapt their everyday interactions to resemble these shows. The most prominent example of this would be fans of NBC's hit sitcom "The Office". Often they see one or two instances where someone behaves with the mannerisms of a character from the fictional world, so they decide to themselves act like someone from the sitcom in order to have the correct relationship with said person. This is especially dangerous in romantic relationships. An example would be fans of the show "Scrubs", when the male begins to show the personality traits of Dr. Perry Cox, the female resorts to behaving like Cox's ex-wife/lover Jordan. This further confuses the relationship until the masquerade falls and the couple realizes they hate each other and have ruined their chances of having another healthy relationship of any sort for months.
This syndrome, named an "Office Fixation" due to the high rate of victims being infected by that show, is not just limited to sitcom fans. Fans of the drama series Lost have been known to intentionally book flights on sub-par airlines that fly over deserted islands. Also a recent survey showed that 90 percent of Lost watchers expect their disabled family members to suddenly be mobile again someday. This has lead to a number of our nation's elderly being dumped from their wheelchairs and suffering tremendous amounts of damage to their shins and elbows.
How do you know if you are at risk? Basically anyone that watches any sort of television programming regularly is at risk. Don't think that just because you only watch Ken Burns documentaries and Larry King Live you won't fall into an "Office Fixation". Young children are at risk too, don't let you child believe its normal behavior to drop an anvil on someone's head or that they should wear square shaped pants.

The following are the most common behavioral displays of an "Office Fixation" in each age group:

Birth to two years: Seeing another toddler and calling "Boooobaaaaaah" followed by an awkward shaking of the tush.

2-10 years: The exclamation to all masked members of society, "Swiper No Swiping!"

10-14 years: Attempting to play your nose like a flute, wearing suspenders, and answering the question "Are you ready?" with a yell of "Aye Aye Captain!"

15-18 years: Singing Imogene Heap's "Hide and Seek" whenever dramatic moments happen in their life.

18-24 years: Laughing in a high-pitched, nasal voice, talking to dogs, and assuming babies want to take over the world.

24-35 years: Saying "Question" before asking a question and glimpsing directly into a camera 's lens whenever given the opportunity.

35-50 years: Assuming all your neighbors are sleeping around and attempting to join in.

50-65 years: Yelling out price guesses when other people are checking out at the store.

PB '11


TheChrisBerry said...

I must admit that I am 24 years old and always say "Question" before I ask anyone anything.

Anonymous said...

i love Dr.mel arthur's report it is really informative especially since am helping my brother recover from drugs
gin davis
Addiction Recovery Arizona

joey said...

I was going to post some stuff on Rember, the newest anti-dementia drug to hit the press, but instead I stumbled across a relatively new blogger, Dr Jo, and wanted to give credit for the links to this report on an alternative treatment option for dementia that have made my Sunday. I sincerely hope this offers a treatment option - anything is better than nothing - but I’m getting a serious flashback to the future about this one.

Arizona Drug Treatment

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